I still remember how I used to get so excited when December is coming. It’s my birthday month, and it’s Christmas holiday, and it’s my school midterm holiday, and it means another New Year’s eve celebration is coming. December literally is my favorite month of the year, because it really feels like celebration to me. A lot of my friend, who most of them are also Sagittarian like me, also has their birthday in December. So, it always full of birthday parties along the week, giving and receiving gifts, and feasting. BUT, as we get older, your friends build their own family, concentrating on their own little family, then there you’ll realize, ‘Oh, my youth is over!’. And you’ll become more calm, no more over excitement over these holidays and celebration. Well, I mean I still feel excited for the holiday and everything, it’s just not as fun as when I was a little kid, that’s all.
Since I decided to take up my back packs and having a little round the Asia trip this year, I spent my Christmas alone, with well, a bunch of friendly strangers who are also a lone traveler, and will be spending my New Year’s eve alone as well this year. Surprisingly, spending it alone didn’t make me feel down or disappointing. I’m even thinking that I could take some time off the busy schedule I had always have in work and have some thinking time of my own. Have I been productive this year? Did I do better than last year? What have I learnt throughout the year? What will I do next? What exactly I want to do for the future?
Even at this age, it’s funny to find out how you still keep asking the same question over and over again every year. What exactly do I want to do in the future? I’ve been asking myself a lot of this question since I’m in a high school, and didn’t even manage to find the answer for myself even now. Well, I mean I have a job, I have a steady income, I know where I want to go with my job. It just that I don’t know what I want to have or become in the future. As for me, what’s important is to live in the moment and do your best with what you have now, since I believe that by doing that, you’ll have a better future as well. Everyone around me seem to have their own plan for the future though, so when I told them that I don’t have any for the future, they would look at me like, ‘What the hell?!’ and would say that I should be a little bit more ambitious.
Oh yeah, that’s the word. Be ambitious. Have ambitions. I’m lack of ambitions. When I got the second rank in my school grades, unlike other ambitious individual who would work harder and try to achieve the first rank. I would be satisfied with the second place. People around me will think that’s weird, but hey, everyone is different right? I’m never really the goal oriented person anyway. I’m more like, as long as I tried hard enough, I’ll just be happy and satisfied with the result, no matter how bad is it. Some would say that’s a blind optimism. And yeah, I’m really good and being optimistic, I mean it in an absurd way. Like way too optimistic in everything. I have my ups and downs too, but most of the time I’m really optimistic about everything.
Again, this year has been a year full of roller coaster ride for me. Most of them are good things I must say. And, the most bravest and spontaneous thing that I decided to do this year would be take a break from life, taking up my backpack and just whoosh go for the road trip that I’ve been dreaming for. Taking a break time from my hectic life, thinking about what have been going on all these years and trying to re-find my own identity after being so tired with the routines. And, I think I just suddenly realized what I want to do in the future. This time might be just a road trip round the Asia, in the future it’ll be a road trip round the world. Until then, I’ll just need to work even harder and earn more money. LOLZ!
Two more days to new year!!!!